Thursday, September 8, 2016

Tonight

Tonight I feel like my heart is breaking.

I've had to leave a job that I ADORE, to take a job that offers full time hours, with fairly predictable schedules.  I've never loved a job before.  No really, EVER. Not until this one.  I felt like I was doing something worthwhile.

Tonight, I had to make appointments to orient my replacement to my current clients and I have not stopped crying. It's painful, and I am filled with uncertainty and extreme sadness (and guilt) at leaving the wonderful people I've worked with.

I want to tell someone.  I want to get comfort from someone who cares for me, who knows me.  And I've realized that I don't have that in a partner (and didn't, even when I was NOT separated).  And that hurts too.

So, tonight I'm sad. And I want to tell someone. And I want a hug.